Author: memoriesaheadmilesbehind

Just a girl hoping to thru hike the PCT in 2018.

102 Days to Go

There’s no agenda for this entry.

What was a beautiful day outside although my home kept me in; I went from project to project, pile to pile, moving and cleaning all the while thinking and planning. Today was a reminder of the reasons why I hike. All the stuff we HAVE that doesn’t matter. The time and love we share with others is truly what life is all about. Today, a good friend learned of his cousins passing. His cousin, 35 years old, left behind a family and wife. Another good friend of mine, lays in a hospital bed still waiting for her doctors to figure out a diagnosis. Shes been there for a week now. All the while I stayed home and cleaned.  I shed a few tears as moments passed or when I saw something that reminded me of my mom.

Yesterday was a huge mile marker for me. I had been procrastinating telling my father about my hike next year. I wasn’t sure how he’d react and to my astonishment he took it better than I thought. He expressed his concerns, asked how he could help, and ultimately understood that this was my decision. I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders after the conversation came to an end. I know there will be many more questions in the future from him but now its all about moving forward for me. I feel as though this was definitely one step closer in the right direction.

Heres goes nothing! 105 Days to go

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Moab, UT 2016

 

Disclaimer: I have not journaled in quite some time. My guess is that in the posts to follow there will be plenty of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors not to mention the run-on sentences with improper punctuation. Thankfully most of us haven’t seen the inside of an English class in years.  This is about so much more though.

Think what you like… but I am not crazy.

This is the first of what I hope to be an exciting chapter in my life. In 105 days I will head to Campo, California to begin hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Its been a dream of mine for years. I first heard of the PCT during one of many fishing vacations in Oregon. I was enamored by the thought of a hiking trail that spread the length of the Western United States. When the movie “Wild” came out, I couldn’t get my hands on the book fast enough. I had never read a novel that quick. It was a turn page turner and also a game changer. It fueled my passion but the book made my dream feel more like it could become reality.

I can’t say enough that without the support of my friends and family this would not be possible. I’m renting out my home, leaving comforts, taking time off from work, all to live in a tent with nothing more than what I can carry on my back. This has and will not come at a cheap price. There are thoughts of excitement and contradicting thoughts of fear. The biggest thing that compels me is the challenge though. The challenge to do something that most people would never think to do. The challenge to be vulnerable and open to discover myself in ways that I cannot even begin to imagine right now. This is the game changer.

The year 2017 has been one of the toughest years of my life. Most of you know that my sweet Mom went into the hospital on March 25, 2017 and passed away on April 6th. I have struggled with her loss in ways I had never felt. My sadness is still deep to this day as anyone would understand who has lost someone so close. When I was younger and would cry about something, my mom would always tell me “I’m gonna let you cry 5 more tears but I don’t want to see my baby sad anymore.”  She would ever so gently wipe those tears from my face but she would count them.  I would try my hardest to quit crying. Most often she would make me laugh somehow and then I was laughing and crying simultaneously. Moral of the story: she wanted nothing more in life than to see me happy.

Hiking makes me happy.

As I find the date to be symbolic, my permit to begin hiking the Pacfic Crest Trail will begin on March 25th, 2018. I hope you can enjoy the trail with me here.